Just last week I lost a very important person in my life, my mom. Ever since, I cannot help but to think of her, my world suddenly went to a halt. I am thinking what if I didn’t go back to work that day and stayed with her, would it be different? I didn’t have the chance to talk to her, when I arrived at the hospital she is already gone. My whole body got numb and suddenly tears are pouring down along with the thought that it was not real. The moment I look at her lying there with no life, as if I am a child trying my best to wake her up, crying out loud and asking her why she left me and that she didn’t kept her promise to fight, I know that this is being selfish but it feels like I was not given enough time to be with her and to show her what I have achieved, for me to be the one who will provide this time so she will worry no more. As days go by, more and more I feel the pain, some will say it is difficult and some says I have to move on, my question is how? I feel like my heart is being crushed one day at a time and still thinking that this is all just a dream, a very bad dream. Rationally, I know it is better that way instead of seeing her in pain because I cannot do anything to take it away and I have accepted that just the way she accepted it. However, I am missing her so much and keeping it inside makes me feel sadder. I am at a lost and on a stand still until when I don’t know.
Heaven Only Knows
He takes our loved ones from us,
We know not the reasons why.
We can only comprehend the sorrows in our hearts
From the moment their souls bless the sky.
He picks them like flowers from a field,
Some prepared for his presence,
Some without a chance to yield.
He’ll choose them and leave alone the others.
It doesn’t matter if the ones he chose
Are someone’s Brothers, Sisters, best friends or Mothers.
But somehow, when reminiscing, after all the tears are cried,
We remember all the reasons we loved them,
And know with all our hearts
Why God himself would want them by his side.
